How to calm down a scared cat

If you want to learn how to calm down a scared cat, that’s simple. We have to understand and nurture cat behavior and wild instincts. You should provide the right cat supplies, interactive play, respect the cat’s boundaries, and use natural remedies safe for cats. These tips will help calm all cats.

pin image how to immediately calm your cat ultimate guide

This post has affiliate links through which I earn a commission. No additional cost to you. Please read my disclaimer.

Also, nothing I say is medical advice. All photos are of my cats.

cat licking human face

Make your cat comfortable

These are the best natural remedies because they nurture cat behavior and instincts. Even if your cat has lived indoors his whole life, wild instincts are ingrained.

My cat, Jericho, was rescued from the streets. He is very attached to me, and he’s very affectionate as well. He naps in my lap while I work, he sleeps on my pillow every night, and he grooms me (pictured above).

Jericho is very calm and relaxed in our home because I respect his boundaries, and I use the methods below.

Below, I’ve included how to choose the right cat supplies, why playtime is important, how to use routines, and additional natural remedies to calm cats.

Check these ideas out today or save THIS PIN to your Cat Care board on Pinterest.

It’s important to know which products and methods are safe for cats before using them.

Before we talk about the methods you should use, I want to clarify that you should never spray your cat.

Spraying cats does not work, and it actually makes things worse for you and your cats.

Why spraying cats doesn’t work

Cats don’t like getting sprayed with water. Do you?

Using sprays will only teach your cat to fear you.

You don’t want your cat to fear you. You want your cat to be comfortable around you. When your cat is comfortable around you, he is more likely to stay calm and be relaxed.

Using a spray bottle as a method to calm a cat does the exact opposite.

If you use a spray bottle, you will create behavioral issues. So now you will have a cat that is afraid of you and acting out, potentially aggressively.

Do not spray your cat.

Never pick up your cat

Cats hate being picked up so you should not do this unless absolutely necessary. Cats feel stable and secure when all four paws are on the ground.

So, when you pick up your cat, you are taking away his stability and comfort. This will stress out your cat and cause potential aggression toward you.

I’ve had 12 cats in my personal life and have worked with over 400 cats professionally. Only one of those cats wanted to be picked up.

You should not pick up your cat because it stresses him out.

cat calming tips cats cuddling on lap

Be patient

I always explain the difference between cats and dogs this way: dogs work to earn our trust, but with cats, we have to work to earn theirs.

Dogs are mostly bred to complete tasks for humans. Their brains are hardwired for this. For example, different breeds of dogs are designed to hunt, sled, race, and perform other working tasks for us.

However, cats are mainly bred for their looks.

Cats prefer things to be done on their terms. Do not force love onto your cat. This will only push him away from you.

Another client of mine had 10 cats. One of those cats hid under the bed every time I visited. He was very shy with everyone.

Rather than forcing interaction, I said hello to him gently and gave him a few treats under the bed, and that was it. This was our only interaction for about one year.

One day, while I was cleaning, he came out. He sat at the bottom of the cat condo and watched me. Once I moved to the couch, he came right to me and sat with me.

After that, he always came to the couch to cuddle with me. He accepted petting and all the love and cuddles.

For the best ways to pet a cat for ultimate purring, check out THIS PIN and then save it to your Cat Care board on Pinterest.

Patience pays off with cats because they appreciate you respecting their boundaries.

Always do things with your cat on his terms.

calm cat sleeping on human in bed

Stick to routines

Wild cats have to fight for survival. If you lived outside and fought for survival, would you want your day full of surprises?

Cats thrive on routine, and they expect this indoors too.

Any sudden changes to routines can stress cats out. A stressed cat is not calm or relaxed.

Here are a few cat routine examples:
  • Feed your cats at the same time every day. Wild cat’s food is not guaranteed. You can provide comfort to your cat by feeding him at the same time every day so he knows his meals are safe.
  • Scoop the litter box daily and clean out completely weekly. People often overlook litter box etiquette. Think about your bathroom. Would you want to step around pee and poo? Cats are clean creatures, and they deserve a clean bathroom.
  • Play with your cats at least 30 minutes daily. This can be broken up throughout the day, but stick to the same general times every day.
  • Spend scheduled quality time with your cat. Cats prefer human interaction when it’s provided on their terms.
  • Go to bed at the same time every day. This routine is beneficial to you and your cats.

Using these routines will help your cat feel safe and stable at home. This will help him feel comfortable in his territory.

Yes, your cat sees your home as his territory. These routines will help calm any cat.

Related:

keep cats calm by playing with wand toys

Interactive play

I mentioned above that cats need around 30 minutes of playtime daily. In the wild, cats get plenty of exercise and mental stimulation from hunting.

Since cats do not hunt indoors, it’s our responsibility to provide exercise and mental stimulation. The best way to do this is with playtime.

Benefits of interactive playtime:
  • Play gets cats active and relieves boredom.
  • Mental stimulation from play also prevents boredom.
  • Relieving boredom helps cats feel good.
  • Exercise helps release built-up energy and decreases the serious health risk of obesity (more on this below).
  • Your cat will use his energy on toys rather than aggressively toward you.
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Choosing cat supplies

It’s important to choose the right cat supplies because you want your cat to be engaged. An engaged cat will have more fun and therefore be more relaxed during downtime.

My goals for 2020 are to move toward more eco-friendly cat products. Eco-friendly is safer for you, your cats, and the environment.

Most big pet companies use plastic, dyes, and chemicals on their products. These harmful materials can cause stress in your cats because they are not natural.

When you provide safe and natural materials, your cat will feel closer to nature and his wild side. This will help him feel safe, calm, and relaxed in your home.

The best calming cat supplies

If I had all the money in the world, I’d buy all of these products.

However, to stick to a budget, I upgrade Jericho’s enrichment needs about once a month. If I want a pricier item, I save for a few months instead.

You’ll see pictures of some of the products but not all of them. Once I’m able to upgrade to each of these products, I will add pictures and additional thoughts.

I’ve searched for the most natural and safe products. Below, I’ve included items I currently have or items that are on my wish list.

how to calm a cat use silvervine chew sticks

1. Matatabi (Silvervine) chew sticks

Silvervine is a catnip alternative that produces a calming effect, and these sticks are safe for chewing. This extra jaw exercise will relieve stress in your cat.

Get the sticks here.

2. Crinkle yoga mat

This yoga mat is made with non-toxic materials and comes with a refillable catnip pouch.

Again, catnip is a popular cat treat because of its calming effects. This yoga mat will give your cat a comfy and relaxing place to hang out and roll around.

Get the crinkle yoga mat here.

The yoga mat comes with 1/2 cup of catnip, but you can get more organic catnip here (this catnip bag is pictured below).

calm cats with organic catnip

3. Scratching pad

This is a great scratching pad because it’s made with real wood and natural carpet fibers. Cats love this because it’s close to nature, and they love to scratch.

Scratching helps calm cats because it sheds the outer dry layers of their claws. It also allows them to stretch and mark their territory.

Get the scratching pad here.

fun rugs for cats ripple rug

4. Ripple Rug

The Ripple Rug (pictured above) is a fun activity center made from recycled bottles.

My cat, Jericho, plays with it daily. Your cat can hunt, scratch, rest, and play on the rug. I hide toys and treats inside the ripples for Jericho to hunt.

Read more benefits of the Ripple Rug here.

Get the Ripple Rug here.

organic eco friendly cat bed

5. Calming cat beds

This organic cotton sleeping bag is comfier than my bedding.

Jericho loves to curl up in the bed on my lap. It’s super soft and keeps him warm.

This bed helps calm cats because it gives them a private and comfortable place to curl up and nap.

Get the bed here.

6. Minky wand toy

This is a great alternative to plastic wands because it’s built to last.

The wand is made out of natural wood, and the Minky crinkle attachment mimics mama’s tail. Mama’s tail is the first toy your cat ever played with.

The attachment is washable which is a huge plus with toys. Always practice safe playtime.

Get the wand here.

cat perching on cat ladder next to window

7. Cat condos

Cats love to climb and be up high.

Wild cats love high spots because it allows a safe watch over their territory. Domestic indoor cats have these same instincts so the best way to provide high spots is with condos.

I have my eye on two different condos right now.

The shop called Mau makes condos from real tree branches and soft plush. They plant a tree for every condo sold.

JML Pets makes condos out of natural wood and carpet.

These are both great choices built to last many years. This is crucial considering most condos are cheaply made and need to be replaced regularly. You’ll save more money in the long-run buying a natural wood condo because it’s more durable.

Put the condos next to your window to provide extra entertainment for your cats.

Get the tree branch condo from Mau here.

Get the wood and carpet condo from JML Pets here.

The Cat Ladder is another great choice.

cat rubbing face on catnip toy

8. Catnip toys

Most cats love catnip, so these toys are perfect for relaxation. Catnip toys will make cats chase, hunt, and do bunny kicks.

These toys are fun for cats because they bring out the natural hunter in them.

There are many cute catnip toys to choose from. The one pictured above is the kitten mitten from PurrfectPlay. As you can see, Jericho is quite content with the kitten mitten.

We also have chase balls from the same shop. The pack comes with 6 different balls made of wool and cotton. I hide these inside the Ripple Rug, and Jericho goes crazy pawing them out.

Get the kitten mitten here.

Get the chase balls here.

Also, check out Feline Fun and Miss Lulu Crafts for the cutest catnip toys you’ll ever find. You’ll see ice cream cones, pizza, coffee to-go mugs, and buttered pancakes, just to name a few. All are made with cotton and filled with organic catnip.

Related:

how to treat a cat naptime together

Slow blinking at cats

Let’s get back to the wild with this one. I’m sure you’ve heard of the “I love you” blinks, and maybe you’re skeptical.

Here’s why it works. Wild cats have to sleep with caution. Cats have to be alert because they are both predator and prey.

When you slow blink to your cat, you are communicating that you trust him enough to be vulnerable around him. Closing your eyes means letting your guard down to potential danger.

The next time your cat is lying with you, lock eyes and slowly blink at him. Keep your eyes closed for about one second before slowly opening them again.

Repeat this a few times, and your cat will probably slow blink back at you. This is a huge sign that your cat feels comfortable and safe around you.

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raw diet for cats

Healthy food and treats

Providing healthy food and treats is a great way to help your cat be relaxed and calm at home.

Think about how you feel when you eat healthy foods. Your energy is up, you feel happy, and overall you just feel good.

How do you feel when you eat crappy fast food? You probably feel lazy, you might get some stomach pains, and overall you just feel blah.

Dried kibble is essentially fast food for cats.

A company called AFB International creates flavor enhancers for dried kibble pet food. They openly admit that cats and dogs are not grain-eaters by choice, so their job is to make kibble more enticing for them to eat.

A fresh, raw diet is much healthier for cats because this is the most natural choice. Cats eat prey raw in the wild, so why would their nutritional needs be any different indoors?

Kibble is also highly processed, so any beneficial nutrients in the meat ingredients are killed. This is why you’ll see that vitamins, minerals, and amino acids are typically added back into the food.

Just take a look at the ingredients.

calming cats with healthy food

Doesn’t the picture of ground raw meat above look more like food than burnt brown balls of kibble?

According to the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention, an estimated 56 million cats in the US are overweight and/or obese. They also found that 82% of all cat owners fed dry food either exclusively or most of the time.

The numbers show that dried kibble is making our cats overweight and causing serious obesity-related health issues.

These obesity-related health issues include:
  • Shortened life
  • Diabetes
  • Heart and respiratory disease
  • Osteoarthritis
  • Kidney disease
  • Insulin resistance
  • High blood pressure
  • Cranial cruciate ligament injury
  • Many forms of cancer

I’ve medicated many cats with pills, liquid meds, insulin, and/or fluids daily. What did they all have in common? They ate dried kibble.

When your cat eats a poor nutritional diet, he will feel like crap.

Poor nutrition can lead to obesity and very serious health-related issues that will result in stress for both of you.

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Essential oils for calming cats

There is a lot of dispute on this topic, mostly covering which oils are safe and which are toxic to cats. A lot of things can be toxic to cats and humans if it is sourced incorrectly and poorly.

For example, essential oils created for making your bathroom smell nice are very different than medical-grade essential oils to treat your cat’s stress.

Always be sure to research the company before purchasing the product. Make sure you buy cat-formulated oils and not basic oils you find in the Home and Garden section.

For more information about using essential oils for cats, check out this holistic veterinarian interview.

And then check out this online retailer for cat-formulated product recommendations.

Calming cat collars

Cats typically don’t like wearing collars, but if this is your last hope, I’d recommend Calming Collars.

Their collars are handsewn with 100% cotton and dried herbs, rather than essential oils. This is much safer for cats to breathe in.

Each collar is made to order so you’ll always get a fresh one shipped to you. Be sure to read their care instructions so you can make your collar last.

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Final thoughts on calming cats

Being owned by a cat requires patience and respect. Rather than stripping a cat of his instincts, we should nurture them by providing the right cat supplies.

Spend quality time with your cats, but do it on their terms. Provide the right nutrition, lots of playtime, and always keep a clean litter box.

These are simple and natural ways to keep cats calm and relaxed at home.

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