I find myself saying that my cat died and I feel guilty very often.
My family has said goodbye to 7 cats, 6 dogs, a guinea pig, 3 birds, 2 ferrets, and many fish since about 2009.
Iâm not here to say that it gets easier.
But I have been through this many times. So it is easier for me to guide others through pet loss grief.
How to deal with the guilt of losing a cat:
- Have a funeral
- Talk about your cat
- Hang a picture of your cat
- Paint a cat portrait
- Write a letter to your cat
- Remember that your cat loves you
- Celebrate anniversaries
- Adopt another cat
Disclaimer: I earn a commission if you make a purchase through affiliate links below. No additional cost to you.
1. Have a funeral
You can say your last goodbyes if you have a funeral. You don’t need to spend money on hiring a service.
However, you and your loved ones should gather in your home or at the vetâs office and take a dedicated moment to say goodbye.
This may be not easy. But this is a very important first step.
This is the last time youâll see your cat. The last time you can touch him.
And the last time youâll be together.
Cherish this moment and be present.
Say goodbye to your cat with your mind, emotions, and energy if you aren’t ready to speak.
Send gratitude and love to your companion while you say goodbye. Send him off properly.
2. Talk about your cat
Talking about your cat is extremely therapeutic. This will help you to access your memories more vividly.
Talking creates energy and emotion.
Positive energy is so helpful when you feel lost without your companion.
Share stories with your family and friendsâit will make you laugh!
This is especially useful when youâre at the vetâs office saying goodbye.
We need to embrace their lives and be grateful that we were able to share it.
My family was at the vet with a very special doggie of mine. We were saying goodbye.
âNow youâre back with your mama humping her in doggie heavenâ.
We thought about her positively. Plus, we remembered another animal friend that we had to say goodbye to.
The dogs are reunited. Knowing this helps ease the pain.
Talking about good times is a great way to honor your cat.
3. Hang a picture of your cat
Take a look through your phone or camera pictures.
Choose a few photos that make you laugh or yell AAAWWWW. Print them.
Yes, we can look at millions of digital photos.
But looking at a tangible photo is a much different experience.
Hang the picture somewhere you look often. Now you can see your cat whenever you want.
Sure we can look at our phone pictures. But the physical picture is already right there hanging on the refrigerator.
There are no distractions, no notifications, and the picture doesnât fade and turn off in 15 seconds.
I printed a picture of my very first family cat and the very first cat I’ve homed without my family’s help.
They are both pushing me away in the pictures.
Being able to see my very first love with my current, displaying their “love” for me, in the same way, makes me smile.
It reminds me that even though I have lost my first cat, other cats out there deserve a loving home.
I keep these 2 photos next to each other on my refrigerator along with many other pictures of my cats and dogs.
Memories of your cats will rush into your mind whenever you look at these pictures.
I created a personalized pet photo with name keychain (customize and purchase it here). You can upload a picture of your cat and his name.
Hang a physical picture of your cats. The pictures help you think about the good times and appreciate your lives together.
4. Paint a cat portrait
Being creative is very therapeutic.
A cat portrait is the best way to capture your cat’s personality.
And painting a cat portrait is easier than you think!
Check out my step-by-step cat portrait process (PDF guide that will open automatically, no email opt-in required).
Give it time to load. It’s 9 pages full of pictures.
I use water-mixable oils and canvas boards.
Water-mixable oils are nice because you can clean up with soap and water. No yucky solvents are needed.
I highly recommend practicing and painting the portrait yourself.
But you can also find talented pet portrait artists on Etsy.
A cat portrait is a fun way to get creative and display your cat’s personality in your home.
5. Write a letter to your cat
Here’s another form of creativity that can help you deal with pet loss grief.
Get your emotions out on paper. Writing is therapeutic as well.
Writing a letter to your cat can help with grief. You can get your emotions out without judgment.
You’re not sending the letter to anyone.
This letter is for your cat. No pressure, no judgment.
You could journal and write to your cat daily if you want.
Make it work for you.
Getting your emotions out on paper is extremely therapeutic.
6. Remember that your cat loves you
Whether it was a sickness, abrupt happening, or natural causes, the first thing we do is blame ourselves.
This is normal. But we shouldnât do that or dwell on it.
Always remember that you provided a wonderful life for your cat while she was here. And she will love you for it forever.
There are tons of homeless cats out there. Many are euthanized at the shelter. But you opened up your home to him.
He appreciates it and knows that he is just as lucky to have you.
Think about your loving relationship and how happy you made each other.
Think about the love and special bond that you shared.
Acknowledging all of this love will help mend your heart.
7. Celebrate anniversaries
Take a special moment each year (or whenever you want) to remember your loved ones.
This is a wonderful way to keep them in your thoughts.
Get together with friends and family to share stories and photos of your beloved feline friends.
You will help yourself and your friends to mend your hearts when you share these anniversaries.
8. Adopt another cat
You may feel guilty about getting another pet after losing one. But you shouldnât.
Grieving time is different for everyone.
Donât worry about it being âtoo soonâ if you feel ready for another cat.
You arenât replacing anyone.
Cats are part of your family. Cats are part of your life.
Itâs weird not having them around after living with them for decades.
Youâre also doing a really good thing. Adopting a cat from the shelter can save his life.
Adopting a shelter cat fills your heart with joy, gives a cat a home, saves the cat from euthanasia, and opens up a space for another cat in need.
FAQ
How do you deal with the guilt of losing a pet?
It is not easy to deal with the guilt of losing a pet. But feeling guilty cannot change what happened. Just remember that you provided a home and loved your cat. This is the most important. Learn from your mistakes and improve for the future.
How do you get over a dead cat?
The best way to get over a dead cat is to remember the good times. Think about how happy your cat was and remind yourself that you provided a good home. Talk and laugh about your cat often. Hang a picture of your cat or paint a portrait.
How long is normal to grieve for a pet?
There is no normal amount of time to grieve for a pet. But it is normal to grieve for a pet. The grieving process is different for everyone. Do what works for you. Just remember that you loved your cat and you made him happy.
How am I supposed to live with myself, knowing my catâs death is my fault?
We all make mistakes. The best way to live with yourself is to accept this. We cannot change the past, but we can improve in the future. Learn from your mistakes and make it right with your next cat.
Final thoughts on pet loss
It’s difficult to imagine our lives without our feline friends.
I feel lost after losing pets. I don’t know who I am without them.
But I’m able to heal faster and remember the good times when I use these tips.
Don’t rush the process. But you also shouldn’t dwell.
Your cat wants you to be happy and cherish the moments you had together.
Adopt another cat when you’re ready.
Learn from your mistakes and correct them with your future cats.
Not sure if you’re ready for another cat? Check out: Am I ready to adopt a cat?
